Recently, I read a news story about a woman who was a trophy hunter.聽
She was driven to suicide, in part, because of online bullying. Her tragic story got me thinking: it鈥檚 rare to see stories of people who have been through intense bullying and come out alive on the other end.聽
That鈥檚 why I want to share mine. 聽
My story started in 1993, when I was in Grade 7. I had moved from Brackendale Elementary to Mamquam Elementary since we moved to the Highlands catchment. Within that first few months, I was beaten by two boys, had my hair set on fire (an attempt that, thankfully, was snuffed out because my hair was wet at the time), was 鈥渃urb stomped,鈥� and had a vast array of names and insults hurled at me.
By Grade 9, I was receiving death threats. I had been stabbed with a pencil (thankfully, I put my hand up and it took most of the abuse. It was deep enough that, when the person let go of the pencil, it stayed in my hand for a few seconds before gravity finally pulled it free), threatened with syringes and had a few attempts on my life.
I had also developed a desire to harm myself. It could be a cut on barbwire or a small burn 鈥� really anything I could pass off as an accident or wasn鈥檛 visible to other people 鈥� and, of course, suicide was always on my mind.聽
I felt worthless and not deserving of protection. Eventually I graduated 鈥� I didn鈥檛 go to anything that had to do with grad though 鈥� and 鈥渕oved on鈥� with my life, but you can never truly move on from something like that.聽
It haunts me to this day.聽
When it came to choosing my profession I decided to go back into the school system and teach children who have special needs. As an educational assistant, I was able to protect those who couldn鈥檛 protect themselves, even if they wanted to. Other than staying alive, it was in my top 10 most difficult decisions.聽
I have to choose to live every day. The pain has lessened over time, but every time I see students being bullied, memories often come flooding back and I want to protect or help those being harassed. 聽
People mock others, and say things without ever thinking or caring about what happens after. Some even are happy when someone they don鈥檛 like takes their own life. They have no idea how painful it is to feel that way about yourself or they, hopefully, would never inflict that pain on anyone.聽
Sea to Sky Stories is a monthly feature of personal essays from our community. Our goal is to collect tales from all over the valley to showcase the compelling characters in our midst.聽If you鈥檇 like to contribute please email [email protected].
