It鈥檚 been six years since I wrote my first Millennial Mom column. The editor at the time, Dave Burke, suggested I put together a column based on my experiences as a mother with young children, and given the parent education I was doing in the corridor, it sounded like a great idea.
Then I sat down to write and was instantly terrified.
My eldest was in Grade 1 at the time and I decided to kick things off with something I was excited by 鈥� her walking five blocks unsupervised to a friend鈥檚 house. In a quest to foster independence, it was something that in this day and age opened me up to criticism. But I steeled myself, put that concern aside, and set forth on what has undoubtedly been a journey of commitment and courage.
Not only was I embarking on an unpopular path of parenting (virtually no screentime, lots of 鈥渉ands-off鈥� unstructured playtime, and an alternative education), I was going to take you, the readers, along with me.
Well, with this, my last Millennial Mom, I want to say thanks. Thanks for the solid company and the genuine friendship you鈥檝e offered. Thanks to all of you who read my columns, took the time to write 鈥� whether it was to the editor, or more often than not on my Facebook page or website. Thanks for stopping me in the schoolyard, in the grocery store, and at the lake to tell me your stories, or how much you appreciated the things I wrote about and shared with you.
I wish I could say I did it for you. Or that I did it for my kids. But the truth is I did it for myself. My primary goal, above all else, was to learn to become as open and honest and vulnerable as I possibly could be in those moments. I told myself, if what I wrote didn鈥檛 scare me just a little then it probably wasn鈥檛 worth sharing. I wasn鈥檛 always successful. There were many times as a writer I was shut down by the mayhem at home. Writing from a place of authenticity and vulnerability was more than I could handle. That鈥檚 when you鈥檇 get a Top 10 tips on prepping for summer vacation, or how to manage the bedlam of Christmas holidays!
But we push through. There are always going to be moments fraught with relationship challenges and difficult behaviours (the kids AND mine), which result in an inability to meet the task of mothering the way I would like. Truth be told, my own 鈥渆motional baggage鈥� (a collection of triggers and hurts and instinctual ways of responding) sometimes makes parenting the last thing I want to do. I believe that鈥檚 probably true for all of us to one extent or another. We just can鈥檛 always acknowledge it.
Because it鈥檚 hard. And when we get triggered, the feeling can be so overwhelming that if we aren鈥檛 grounded we can turn to all sorts of unproductive or unhealthy outlets.
Parents or not, we are only human.
Remaining 鈥済rounded鈥� simply means keeping your bearings in the storms of parenting. Storms may come, but storms also go.
Being able to wait them out in a healthy manner and not contribute to the emotional chaos whirling around you takes practice and a bit of skill. Whether it鈥檚 a breathing technique, talking to yourself, or going for a run or a hike, we all need something to help us cope.
So I continue to work on that. And I鈥檒l continue, in other yet undetermined ways, to embrace the gift of vulnerability. Because with that comes courage and bravery, qualities needed more now than ever in our time. Parenting, mothering, has been the most spiritual journey I鈥檝e ever been on. And it鈥檚 not done yet.
Thank you for having been with me for so much of it.
听
Don鈥檛 worry, Kirsten isn鈥檛 leaving The 麻豆社国产 team. Stay tuned for her new column debuting in a couple of weeks.
