CHICAGO (AP) 鈥� When she started writing her college essay, Hillary Amofa told the story she thought admissions offices wanted to hear. About being the daughter of immigrants from Ghana and growing up in a small apartment in Chicago. About hardship and struggle.
Then she deleted it all.
鈥淚 would just find myself kind of trauma-dumping,鈥� said the 18-year-old senior at Lincoln Park High School in Chicago. 鈥淎nd I鈥檓 just like, this doesn鈥檛 really say anything about me as a person.鈥�
When the Supreme Court in higher education, it left the college essay as one of few places where race can play a role in admissions decisions. For many students of color, instantly more was riding on the already high-stakes writing assignment. Some say they felt pressure to exploit their hardships as they competed for a spot on campus.
Amofa was just starting to think about her essay when the court issued its decision, and it left her with a wave of questions. Could she still write about her race? Could she be penalized for it? She wanted to tell colleges about her heritage but she didn鈥檛 want to be defined by it.
In English class, Amofa and her classmates read sample essays that all seemed to focus on some trauma or hardship. It left her with the impression she had to write about her life's hardest moments to show how far she'd come. But she and some of her classmates wondered if their lives had been hard enough to catch the attention of admissions offices.
鈥淔or a lot of students, there鈥檚 a feeling of, like, having to go through something so horrible to feel worthy of going to school, which is kind of sad,鈥� said Amofa, the daughter of a hospital technician and an Uber driver.
This year鈥檚 senior class is the first in decades to navigate . The Supreme Court upheld the practice in decisions going back to the 1970s, but this court鈥檚 conservative supermajority for colleges to give students extra weight because of their race alone.
Still, the decision left room for race to play an indirect role: Chief Justice John Roberts wrote universities can still consider how an applicant鈥檚 life was shaped by their race, 鈥渟o long as that discussion is concretely tied to a quality of character or unique ability.鈥�
鈥淎 benefit to a student who overcame racial discrimination, for example, must be tied to that student鈥檚 courage and determination,鈥� he wrote.
Scores of colleges responded with new essay prompts asking about students鈥� backgrounds. Brown University asked applicants how 鈥渁n aspect of your growing up has inspired or challenged you.鈥� Rice University asked students how their perspectives were shaped by their 鈥渂ackground, experiences, upbringing, and/or racial identity.鈥�
WONDERING IF SCHOOLS 鈥楨XPECT A SOB STORY鈥�
When Darrian Merritt started writing his essay, he knew the stakes were higher than ever because of the court鈥檚 decision. His first instinct was to write about events that led to him going to live with his grandmother as a child.
Those were painful memories, but he thought they might play well at schools like Yale, Stanford and Vanderbilt.
鈥淚 feel like the admissions committee might expect a sob story or a tragic story,鈥� said Merritt, a senior in Cleveland. 鈥淎nd if you don鈥檛 provide that, then maybe they鈥檙e not going to feel like you went through enough to deserve having a spot at the university. I wrestled with that a lot.鈥�
He wrote drafts focusing on his childhood, but it never amounted to more than a collection of memories. Eventually he abandoned the idea and aimed for an essay that would stand out for its positivity.
Merritt wrote about a summer camp where he started to feel more comfortable in his own skin. He described embracing his personality and defying his tendency to please others. The essay had humor 鈥� it centered on a water gun fight where he had victory in sight but, in a comedic twist, slipped and fell. But the essay also reflects on his feelings of not being 鈥淏lack enough鈥� and getting made fun of for listening to 鈥渨hite people music."
鈥淚 was like, 鈥極K, I鈥檓 going to write this for me, and we鈥檙e just going to see how it goes,鈥欌�� he said. 鈥淚t just felt real, and it felt like an honest story.鈥�
The essay describes a breakthrough as he learned "to take ownership of myself and my future by sharing my true personality with the people I encounter. ... I realized that the first chapter of my own story had just been written.鈥�
A RULING PROMPTS PIVOTS ON ESSAY TOPICS
Like many students, Max Decker of Portland, Oregon, had drafted a college essay on one topic, only to change direction after the Supreme Court ruling in June.
Decker initially wrote about his love for video games. In a childhood surrounded by constant change, navigating his parents鈥� divorce, the games he took from place to place on his Nintendo DS were a source of comfort.
But the essay he submitted to colleges focused on the community he found through Word is Bond, a leadership group for young Black men in Portland.
As the only with divorced parents in a predominantly white, Christian community, Decker wrote he constantly felt like the odd one out. On a trip with Word is Bond to Capitol Hill, he and friends who looked just like him shook hands with lawmakers. The experience, he wrote, changed how he saw himself.
鈥淚t鈥檚 because I鈥檓 different that I provide something precious to the world, not the other way around,鈥� he wrote.
As a first-generation college student, Decker thought about the subtle ways his peers seemed to know more about . They made sure to get into advanced classes at the start of high school, and they knew how to secure glowing letters of recommendation.
If writing about race would give him a slight edge and show admissions officers a fuller picture of his achievements, he wanted to take that small advantage.
His first memory about race, Decker said, was when he went to get a haircut in elementary school and the barber made rude comments about his curly hair. Until recently, the insecurity that moment created led him to keep his hair buzzed short.
Through Word is Bond, Decker said he found a space to explore his identity as a Black man. It was one of the first times he was surrounded by Black peers and saw Black role models. It filled him with a sense of pride in his identity. No more buzzcut.
The pressure to write about race involved a tradeoff with other important things in his life, Decker said. That included his passion for journalism, like the piece he wrote on efforts to revive a once-thriving Black neighborhood in Portland. In the end, he squeezed in 100 characters about his journalism under the application鈥檚 activities section.
鈥淢y final essay, it felt true to myself. But the difference between that and my other essay was the fact that it wasn鈥檛 the truth that I necessarily wanted to share,鈥� said Decker, whose top college choice is Tulane, in New Orleans, because of the region鈥檚 diversity. 鈥淚t felt like I just had to limit the truth I was sharing to what I feel like the world is expecting of me.鈥�
SPELLING OUT THE IMPACT OF RACE
Before the Supreme Court ruling, it seemed a given to Imani Laird that colleges would consider the ways that race had touched her life. But now, she felt like she had to spell it out.
As she started her essay, she reflected on how she had or felt overlooked as a Black student in predominantly white spaces.
There was the year in math class when the teacher kept calling her by the name of another Black student. There were the comments that she鈥檇 have an easier time getting into college .
鈥淚 didn鈥檛 have it easier because of my race,鈥� said Laird, a senior at Newton South High School in the Boston suburbs who was accepted at Wellesley and Howard University, and is waiting to hear from several Ivy League colleges. 鈥淚 had stuff I had to overcome.鈥�
In her final essays, she wrote about her grandfather, who served in the military but was denied access to GI Bill benefits because of his race.
She described how discrimination fueled her ambition to excel and pursue a career in public policy.
鈥淪o, I never settled for mediocrity,鈥� she wrote. 鈥淩egardless of the subject, my goal in class was not just to participate but to excel. Beyond academics, I wanted to excel while remembering what started this motivation in the first place.鈥�
WILL SCHOOLS LOSE RACIAL DIVERSITY?
Amofa used to think at schools like Harvard and Yale. After the court's ruling, she was surprised to find that race was taken into account even at some public universities she was applying to.
Now, without affirmative action, she wondered if mostly white schools will become even whiter.
It's been on her mind as she chooses between Indiana University and the University of Dayton, both of which have relatively few Black students. When she was one of the only Black students in her grade school, she could fall back on her family and Ghanaian friends at church. At college, she worries about loneliness.
鈥淭hat鈥檚 what I鈥檓 nervous about,鈥� she said. 鈥淕oing and just feeling so isolated, even though I鈥檓 constantly around people.鈥�
The first drafts of her essay focused on growing up in a low-income family, sharing a bedroom with her brother and grandmother. But it didn鈥檛 tell colleges about who she is now, she said.
Her final essay tells how she came to embrace her . She wrote about going to a mostly white grade school where classmates made jokes about her afro. When her grandmother sent her back with braids or cornrows, they made fun of those too.
Over time, she ignored their insults and found beauty in the styles worn by women in her life. She now runs a business doing braids and other hairstyles in her neighborhood.
鈥淚 stopped seeing myself through the lens of the European traditional beauty standards and started seeing myself through the lens that I created,鈥� Amofa wrote.
鈥淐riticism will persist, but it loses its power when you know there鈥檚 a crown on your head!"
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Ma reported from Portland, Oregon.
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Collin Binkley, Annie Ma And Noreen Nasir, The Associated Press
